Sesame street as of last night has introduced a new puppet, Lily, who is food insecure. Not sure how many of you still watch sesame street since I’m sure most of my readers are over the age of ten. Either way, Its a very important topic to me that hits home just a little. I am not from the wealthiest of families, I’m not even from a middle class family. I am from a single mom, single income, scraping by on a shoe string budget with no frills and second hand shoes kinda family.
I remember as kid seeing commericals that even now as an adult I can see if I watch tv for more than 45 minutes. Commercials focused on feeding the children of africa? Or the children of mars? I’ve always been the brightest bulb in the bunch and I remember thinking to myself “Wheres my commercial?”. I didnt catch on at first, but so many times in my childhood I remember my own mother not eating and when i would ask her why her simple reply would be “I already ate” or “Im not hungry babe”. I still think back on the way it made me feel when i realized exactly what was going on.
The most painfully vivid memory that will forever haunt me now, and I imagine well into my future when I have children of my own, was one particular day when my mom tried to make things seems better than what they were. Something she always tried hard at and even when she failed I never let her know. She knew we were hungry, and she decided today we would have McDonalds as a treat. Which did distract us from the fridge that was painfully empty as always. I remember the hunt for change, throughout the house and into the seats of the car and before I knew it we were on our way to McD’s where we had enough for two small cheeseburgers and an order of fries. It couldnt have cost more than $2.00 as this was somewhere in the late 1980′s. Half way done with my cheeseburger I looked up and it suddenly hit me, she wasnt eating. As I type this it still brings a tear to my eye with all honesty and it was like in that very moment it hit me and my brother. How many times had my mom starved herself?
We cant change the past and if I could this is one part I would simply leave it be. I want to know the things I know, and I want to of seen the things I have seen. However painful they may be they shaped the man who sits here today before you typing this. What we can change is the future… The media would allow you believe that we dont have the same problems as a thrid world country, that america is perfect and its only thousands of miles away that children suffer and not here in the very same place where YOU live. The next time your in the grocery story and you see that lady with two kids throwing things out of her basket right before she gets to the checkout line, and you think to yourself “I guess she doesnt need milk after all”, know that you are wrong.
That being said, some of you are going to say… “Thats why america has food stamp programs”. I would say you are right, america does have those. Another memory I have as a child is my mother getting denied for them.” Well, why if you were truly in need?” is your response. Mine is “Good fawkin question?”. The only thing I could boil it down to is my mom actually had two jobs, and worked 16 hours a day where as other mothers who have no job or desire for one get upwards of $500 a month. A practice that still goes on today.
If I had a million dollars I would buy a stack of grocery story gift cards and hand them out daily to those single ladies ditching half their carts 36 seconds before checking out, or standing there putting things back when the register rings up too high. Hell I dont have a million dollars and I do that now. If we would take all the money we spend on these politicians, or take all this money we give to churches and give it to where it is needed this would be a better country for it, we would be better people for it. You can change the life of a person right here probably two blocks away from where you live now if you so decide to do it.
Here is the clip from sesame street… I’m going to stop writing now because If I keep going I’m just going to get more pissed off.
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13 Comments
This is an excellent post and I couldn’t have said it better myself. I too was raise in a single parent, single income household. Back in 92 my family had bought a new house and moved in with big plans. Both of my parents had good jobs with good incomes. A month after we moved in my dad lost his job. A month after that my mom found out she had lung cancer and 4 months after that she passed away. What once was a perfectly comfortable world was now the exact opposite. My dad did all that he could to create “normalcy” for me but like you had said you know when they were lying. Once I was able to work I got a job and helped my dad with what he needed but even as an adult living on my own that time in my life will forever be ingrained within me. I can remember being 21 years old sill thinking if I move out I won’t be a burden. I’m really glad that kids are going to learn from this. They are our futures after all.
{{Hugs}} to you James. It really is sad isn’t it? It totally ticks me off when I get to thinking about how much money the gov’t (and regular people) sends to help other countries when we have people homeless and starving on our own turf that we “can’t” help. Ridiculous. And don’t get me started on the “program leeches”…
I’ve always said if we were as worried about out starving kids instead of the ones overseas we might have less people in prison. Some of our obese people came from homes just like yours. I have seen it lived it and eventually surpassed it. I lost a good friend because she and her Organization at school were boasting about winning a grant to supply kids in china with violins. My only response was “what do the American kids get a spoon and some thread?” while I believe all should be helped I think it should be up to the locals to help one another. When I see that woman at the store putting things back I tend to pick them up pay for them and catch her on the way out. Or ask her to go ahead and cover the difference. Now I’m not rich and have my own family of 6 to feed but im not going to help some other country I feel I should help right here at home!
James,
I am still choking back tears. Ok I was bawling reading this. I was a single mom for five years and we didn’t qualify for food stamps. Digging for change in the car and couch cushions for money for a cake mix for my sons bday will be in my mind fovever. Your mom sounds like an amazing women, I admire her!!! I love what you wrote, it is so frustrating to see us take care of other countries but not our own.
Wow. You really touched home. I had both parents, but I can’t tell you how often they went without, how many pots of brown beans we had, or how many times my mom had us kids play ‘camping out’ in one room by the wood stove (I didn’t know then that it was really because they couldn’t afford to heat the rest of the house). As with you, I have been through some really rough times and I have been through some great times. I would never trade any of them because I believe they made me who I am today. Thanks for the post!
Wonderful post. I know what its like to struggle to feed my kids, and I know what its like to show up at the food bank hoping they have enough on hand that day.
I also know what its like to have extra, and to share it. I’ve been on both sides.
I do give to my church though, however, my church is very generous with the community, we go out regularly feeding the homeless, have a benevolence fund to help people who can’t pay their rent or electric bill, and have a dinner once a week that anyone can come to.
Right now, my family is facing lean times. I’m not a single mom, but my husband has had a pay-cut, and will soon be laid off. I work part time.
One thing that really rings true is what you said about people who work not qualifying for help. I think its really messed up that its easier to get help if you sit on your butt at home than it is if you work 12 hour shifts at minimum wage. That doesn’t really motivate people to go to work..
James, I sat with tears in my eyes reading this. It’s SO real the amount of families who struggle every single day. It breaks my heart to think of the mothers, and fathers who go without food so their childrens bellies are full. I am a single mom raising two children and am so very blessed to have two extremely supportive parents in my life.
Another topic is the amount of people who are abusing the system! I met a single mom last year who was a complete liar. It’s people like her who make it so difficult for those who really need the help. When she told me her “story” I felt horrible for her, couldn’t imagine her two girls going without for Christmas. Spoke to my parents about it and we were all going to put together gift cards and food for this family. I just have to mention that my family isn’t well off either, we live paycheck to paycheck but would give the coat off our backs for someone who needed it. This woman was willing to take advantage of whoever would give her what she “needed”. Luckily for me she slipped up about a week before our plan was to take action. Just unreal. And we question why people in need have a hard time receiving help. So unfair.
Ok first off let me say that the part about your mother made me cry. I too came from a single parent household. The only thing that makes me thing your life was better if you want to call it that, is that your mom worked. My mom was a bad drinker and didn’t work. She relied solely on what she received from public aid. Clothes,food and heat were not always available. I was blessed to have a wonderful grandpa who saved us many times. Shit he took me to buy my first bra. I will be the first to admit that I’ve had to go to food banks myself. I’m a mom of three boys and work my tail off but with the cost of things I can’t always do it. Its hard to pick if your going to buy food or pay the light bill. James I just would like to say that you don’t know what it is to love till you have children. I can’t explain it you just have to experience it. Your mom is awesome and I’m sure would or have done plenty more then go hungry. For everyone reading this. If you can because I know times are hard, find a local food bank, shelter etc and donate something. I know the one here has a thrift store attached, and everything they sell goes to support the food bank etc.
Wow did that bring back memories of being 21 with 3 kids and no money. Being denied food stamps because we had a car (a mini truck that we all couldn’t even fit in) but it was the only way we could get to work when there was some. Going to the food banks as often as they would let me. To this day I still can’t stand to eat Top Ramen, they were cheap and we lived on them. Lost everything we had….our house, car, everything. Being so damn poor I used to sneak my trash cans out with my neighbors cause I couldn’t afford trash service. Having our power or gas off for days at a time. Made me a stronger smarter woman though….you do what you can to survive and it teaches you to appreciate the little things in life. I hope my kids don’t remember to much of the bad times.
As long as there are the people that will take advantage of the system, it will never change. I grew up poor, I remember having dinners that consisted of toasted bread and some kind of instant gravy. Thats it. The lessons I learned watching my parents struggle, and receiving food donations from our church, made me grow up to be a more responsible individual so I am never in that situation.
LOL Danielle…I totally forgot about SOS, Shit on a Shingle…thats what we used to call bread and gravy!
Wow, I am just about in tears reading this. you could have mimicked my life completely with this story. My heart breaks thinking of how hard it must have been for my mom, there were 6 kids in my house, some adopted from a dead beat family member who abandoned them. I was the youngest, so you know what that meant… I got everyone elses hand-me-downs, and the fastest one to the table was the one that got to eat. Rough times, but as you, I wouldn’t change my life, because I am proud of who I am today, and I am proud of the struggles that have taught me to be a better person and try harder to go for the goals I set for myself. Wow James, I think I could read/listen to your thoughts for hours…lol
That clip…well the whole thing just makes me cry. I’ve been on EVERY end of this. And I know that I was denied food stamps for my two kids because I worked 2 jobs and paid my bills…and lost my WIC benefits after the first year. I am SO proud of the children that want to help out other children. My son Cameron is like that. Thanks for sharing this with us!!