Okay… First things first, this give away is not sponsored by anyone, and I am not getting paid to do this by the bike company. This is my personal bike that I have ridden, and I just want it to go to someone who needs and wants it. However, I want to say right now that if you are looking for this bike to change your life, then you will be disappointed. It is a cool ass toy, that will make exercise fun, and help keep you active but the reality is no one can make you get on it. In a perfect world whoever wins this bike, will ride it long enough to lose enough weight to where the best thing this bike could do is be given to the next person. Once you are done with it, you don’t have to give it to the next deserving person, but dammit it would be cool if you did. Maybe one day two or three, maybe even four or five of us can stand next to this bike knowing that it brought out the kid in us again, and helped facilitate that lifestyle we all so badly desire. A guy can dream right?

I would do this completely free but I can’t and here is why. Shipping this bike will run about $150, and you can’t ship the bike assembled, so when it arrives in the hands of the winner you have to get it assembled. This will probably run about $100 at a local bike shop. So I’m going to charge to enter the giveaway. $8 per entry. This should fund that expense, and whatever is left over I will find a way to make that pay forward too and probably do some cool giveaways.

 Here is how you enter.

 1) Purchase a wristband for $8,and you get an entry. I can’t charge you to enter the giveaway for legal reasons. Now, you can purchase for someone else, just be sure to email me and let me know what their name is. You can buy as many as you like, and you get an entry for each one. You can do that at the bottom of this page, and be sure to add the name of the person you want to enter for the giveaway.

 2) If you don’t have $8 that is cool. I will pay your entry, but you have to earn it. Post a picture on my Facebook wall at www.facebook.com/truegarrison and then get 50 people to go to my page, “like” it and have them comment on that picture saying you sent them. Also on this Facebook picture, maybe someone will purchase a ticket in your name. So feel free to include your story in it. I am going to put them all in an album for easy access that I will share. However, you will have to promote your picture. I can’t spam everyone all day it’s just not cool. I will only allow you 2 entries this way and you have to meet the requirements. So for example to get both entries you will need to have 100 new people come to my page, like it, and comment on your photo that you sent them.

 3) Since there is a law against raffles, this is not a raffle… and as such you don’t have to purchase ANYTHING to participate. However it would nice, since really this is a community effort to help someone in their journey. That someone could very well be you! So you can mail an entry on a 3×5 in card with your name on it. You can only do this once per person, once per house hold and it must be post marked by Feb 8th 2012. I will have a po box setup soon, check back.

 4) The contest will run untilFebruary 20th, and at that point I will do a live USTREAM broadcast of the actual drawing for the winner sometime that day or the following day. If for somereason we don’t have enough entries to at least cover the shipping, and assembly, etc. I will prolong the contest for 2 more weeks. Spread the word,and hopefully I won’t have to. I just can’t afford to pay for the shipping and assembly myself cause I’m broke and I don’t want the winner to have to cover the cost because what if they can’t?

 Okay… so since this was my bike, and I used it. IT’S NOT NEW. I am not guaranteeing this bike with a warranty what so ever. I can tell you this, I ride it, and it works. It’s a good bike, and it will hold up to 550LBS which is the real selling point. New from www.supersizedcycles.com the bike is $1850 plus tax and shipping so well over $2,000. I don’t know about you, but my first truck cost less than that. Whoever this goes to, I hope it serves you well. I hope when you are done with it, you pass it on as I am doing.  However, that is your choice. I will ask that you post a picture of you with the bike when you get it, it would mean a lot to me. Maybe one day we can get a picture together? Or even go for a ride.

Alright… Well it was you all that helped me figure out how to get this contest setup to where everyone had a chance, and I think we did it. So let’s help someone ride into their new life!

Contest Wrist Band

Category: Giveaway

Price: $8

Description: Purcahse this wristband for a free entry into the bike giveaway. Please Include the persons name you want to be entered into the giveaway below in the input field.

Name you wish to enter for the drawing:

It is with the deepest and most heartfelt sorrow that I have to pass these words along. James Garrison is dead,  he walked ahead to whatever world there is beyond this one and I’m sure he is giving them just as much hell as he gave us. And although James is no longer with us, it brings me great joy to announce that The motherfawkin Garrison is still with us. Fawkem.

You reach certain points in your life that in order to move beyond them you have to sit back and flip through a few chapters of the life you’ve led, reflect inward and through this rediscover yourself. Sometimes it takes a little longer to read between the lines but eventually you get there. That is once you begin to question your views, perspectives, and then question yourself as to why they are what they are. When that happens, it’s time to question why you’re questioning.

Somewhere in the middle of sifting through all this bullshit you might find a semblance of truth although the older you get the harder it becomes to tell yourself lies. Which btw thanks for all the birthday wishes, all 14 of you rock. So here I am with the product of my invisibility. There is so much shit I want to say, but I’m sure you have stuff to do like work and not read this. So this post will be short. I want to leave you with one powerful thought for right now.

The only thing that will make you feel better about tomorrow is what you do today. Never be afraid to sacrifice what you were for what you will become, never negotiate with yourself as you will always lose and never forget that sometimes darkness is the best reminder of light.

Btw – For the slower folk… Yes this means I am alive.

-The Garrison

If you have questions post them below. I will answer all of them in my next post.

I remember as kid seeing commericals that even now as an adult I can see if I watch tv for more than 45 minutes. Commercials focused on feeding the children of africa? Or the children of mars? I’ve always been the brightest bulb in the bunch and I remember thinking to myself “Wheres my commercial?”. I didnt catch on at first, but so many times in my childhood I remember my own mother not eating and when i would ask her why her simple reply would be “I already ate” or “Im not hungry babe”. I still think back on the way it made me feel when i realized exactly what was going on. 

The most painfully vivid memory that will forever haunt me now, and I imagine well into my future when I have children of my own, was one particular day when my mom tried to make things seems better than what they were. Something she always tried hard at and even when she failed I never let her know.  She knew we were hungry, and she decided today we would have McDonalds as a treat. Which did distract us from the fridge that was painfully empty as always. I remember the hunt for change, throughout the house and into the seats of the car and before I knew it we were on our way to McD’s where we had enough for two small cheeseburgers and an order of fries. It couldnt have cost more than $2.00 as this was somewhere in the late 1980′s. Half way done with my cheeseburger I looked up and it suddenly hit me, she wasnt eating. As I type this it still brings a tear to my eye with all honesty and it was like in that very moment it hit me and my brother. How many times had my mom starved herself?

We cant change the past and if I could this is one part I would simply leave it be. I want to know the things I know, and I want to of seen the things I have seen. However painful they may be they shaped the man who sits here today before you typing this. What we can change is the future… The media would allow you believe that we dont have the same problems as a thrid world country, that america is perfect and its only thousands of miles away that children suffer and not here in the very same place where YOU live. The next time your in the grocery story and you see that lady with two kids throwing things out of her basket right before she gets to the checkout line, and you think to yourself “I guess she doesnt need milk after all”, know that you are wrong.

That being said, some of you are going to say… “Thats why america has food stamp programs”. I would say you are right, america does have those. Another memory I have as a child is my mother getting denied for them.” Well, why if you were truly in need?” is your response. Mine is “Good fawkin question?”. The only thing I could boil it down to is my mom actually had two jobs, and worked 16 hours a day where as other mothers who have no job or desire for one get upwards of $500 a month. A practice that still goes on today.

If I had a million dollars I would buy a stack of grocery story gift cards and hand them out daily to those single ladies ditching half their carts 36 seconds before checking out, or standing there putting things back when the register rings up too high. Hell I dont have a million dollars and I do that now. If we would take all the money we spend on these politicians, or take all this money we give to churches and give it to where it is needed this would be a better country for it, we would be better people for it. You can change the life of a person right here probably two blocks away from where you live now if you so decide to do it.

Here is the clip from sesame street… I’m going to stop writing now because If I keep going I’m just going to get more pissed off.

So, if you guessed my mom… well congratulations. Who doesn’t love, respect and find their mother inspiring? (LOVE YOU MOM, sorry had to say that since im sure shes the only one reading this. You fawks don’t leave comments). That being said this list isnt about her and the automatics in life, its about the things about me you dont know. Hopefully I didn’t surprise you so much but rather at the end of this you think to yourself “That makes perfect fawkin sense”.

Lew Ashby - Season Two Californication

There is no life without love, none worth having anyways… Lou taught me not to wait till the end of mine to learn that, even though he did. It was the way he lived, a life truly an experiment of bad mixed with horrible decisions. The important thing was that he continued to live and to learn… As much as i learned how to live from Lew, I learned how not to live. My favorite memory will forever be when he he said “Repeat after me” and simply held the middle finger up. I sir, will keep you in my heart for awhile. After all he agrees with me, the STONES are better than the beatles.

Crash Davis - Kevin Costner in Bull Durham

Where to start with this wonder of my perfect fictitious world?  Crash taught me how to be humble far before I ever knew I might have had a reason to. I remember when he said “247 homeruns in the minor leagues is kinda a dubious honor”. Its the same thing when it comes to losing weight, being famous for being the biggest dude ever on a weight loss show? That being said my admiration of Crash extends far beyond his humility, its more about what he believes in… Find something to believe in, something to stand for, and once you have this conviction never lose it no matter what it is. Thats called passion…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8W8GGdD6pc

“Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

 Thomas Jefferson

Rarely do you find such wisdom, and such reverence in the words of a man. He is the standard that we as americans should hold every politician, past present and future to… and if we were to do so this country would be in a far better position. The only way to truly do justice to a man such as this is to leave you with a few of his words. If only one day I could harness the power within words with a might such as his…

 Leonardo Da Vinci

My favorite polymath… Why be great at anything, when you can be great at everything. I would never say I have modeled my life after anyone nor do i believe anyone should. I do believe in being diverse and am a procrastinator of sorts. I mean I get stuff done, but its usually last minute… This isnt a trait of being lazy, its simply a product of having so many damn things that you want to do. He is widely accepted as the most diversely skilled man to have ever graced the earth and I personally believe to be the greatest rennascience man ever. I myself write, draw, paint, code software, am an athelete, and just believe in doing what I want to do. There is nothing I put my mind to in whatever field that I do not believe I cant accomplish.

Here are a few of my charcoals…

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Step 1) Gut the jalapenos into boats… remove most the seeds, the more detailed the more time so be as quick as you need to be. Replace the inside with a little greek yogurt or some low fat cream cheese.

Step 2) Place a thin slice of cheese, and remember that this is where most the calories come from. Granted this is a healthier version of a not so healthy thing, but as always too much of a good thing is too damn much.

Step 3) Wrap them in bacon, and use a single toothe pick to hold the turkey bacon in place. Low sodium Low cal is the way to go.

Step 4) Place them in the oven and watch them burn!

Step 5) When they start to bleed goo and that goo gets a little burnt, then well they are done.

Step 6) Eat up… Glorious eh?

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So the next time someone says they have the coolest niece in the world, please tell them to shove it, cause its not true.

Losing weight has this snowball effect, first you lose a pound, then two.. and next thing you know your down 31lbs in no time at all. Then all of a sudden you feel better and look better, and then before you know it your doing stuff. As a wise man once said, “Its Funny how you don’t realize how much you couldn’t do, till you catch yourself doing something.”. So heres to tommorow…

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Yeah, Yeah, one time. Sometimes I feel life is nothing but a string and Im the yoyo on the other side waiting for someone to walk the dog. I almost forgot why I started this blog, I had to go back and read a little bit. You know what Im saying, the whole to know where your going, have to know where you been idea?

Have to keep reminding myself I dont want to feel hopeless, I dont want to feel like I’m at the end of the rope. I remembered what it felt like to step on the scales at 694lbs, and I dont ever want to feel like I did that day.

At first it was hard to believe that anyone would care, and that I wasnt all alone. Yet through each and every one of you, It’s like I stumble a step further every day, even in the haze of defeat and failure the clouds fade away to reveal you guys still standing there with me. Making it one step at a time, one pound at a time, and for that I will be forever greatful.

Heres to the places we love, in mind, body and soul. Todays weight 665lbs, thats right down 29 lbs to date.

-James

I suppose you haven’t lived till you walked through the Walmart staring down the pizza aisle, much like a lion stares down a gazelle. Thinking to yourself, just one, wont hurt… Or slowly walked past the soda aisle trying to pretend its not there? Only turn back around to grab that bottle that’s been pimping you out since `97. I mean if heaven was a soda, it would be a citrus flavor called Fresca. So here I stood this morning, on my $249 siltec 1000’s feeling like the true genius I am.
Its back to the James Diet, that’s right hardcore holocaust style dieting. I mean the only truly accurate way to describe this diet, is to think late night infomercial, fly on my eyeball Ethiopian kid diet. You all know what I’m talking about, the commercial they had to probably shoot 732 takes of, because the kid kept blinking. Really who can keep a fly on their eyeball that long, and not flinch? I’m here to tell you, you cant cheat just a little and it be okay. If you have, and got away with it, then I hate you. However, you’ll hate yourself after awhile too so just consider me ahead of the curve.
If I’m going to reach the Lance Armstrong goal, then buckling down isnt going to be good enough. I’m going to have to think different, or hide my car keys, or handcuff myself to something. Today’s weight was 670lbs, up two since yesterday, damn shoelaces, or tostino’s.. Whatever you want to call it, no more laces people, the gloves are off.
- James

Moments, miles, seconds and inches. Life is comprised of every little one along the way, and I find myself thinking back on what was and what could have been, on so many things in life. Its not to say I have regrets, so much as I have thoughts that I suppose didn’t become actions. Sometimes I find myself, wondering If I just did one thing a little different how different the scenery along my road less traveled would be? I had a frosted moment there didn’t I…
Maybe life is more like poker than we know, rarely do you remember all the big pots you win, but with remarkable clarity you remember the tough losses. Hindsight has a way of catching up with the soul, and it isn’t always pretty.

The one thing that seems to go the most forgotten, is the emotions and thoughts
behind our decisions. Maybe that’s where regrets are born… not in the
memories, but in the loss of them.
For everyone, that ever used something or someone as a crutch for life and
for everything or anyone that ever was that crutch, hopefully one day we’ll
find our way away from you. In love or in life, heres to finding another you.
On my path to another me…today’s weight 668lbs.

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In your mind is where I’ll plant my seed…” – Guster

Thats right, the eff word.  The most versatile word in the English language. Failure… My whole life I never really had what I would call true comprehension of what it was to be a failure, I just knew I didnt want any part of it. I wanted something much better, I wanted success and I was willing to do just about anything to see to it that’s how my life would play out.

So there I was burning through life like an unpacked ciggarette, knocking down one success after another. Or at least so I thought, till I ran out of goals. Its one thing, when you have all these ideas of success that are unrealized. Things your yet to experience, yet to attain. Its easy to get caught up trying to be successful, its like the horizon in a way. An imaginary line that recedes as your approach it, you know its there… you just never quite make it.

My sprint to the finish line ended when I bought my house, It was that last cigarette in my empty pack of life. My lucky if you will… I sat down in my house one day, on my four thousand dollar Italian leather couch, in front of my three thousand dollar plasma, after pulling up in my drive way talking on my five hundred dollar phone, while driving my thirty six thousand dollar truck home from my eighty thousand dollar a year job.  I was twenty one years old, and had everything I thought I needed in life.

You have to understand, I grew up with nothing and I mean not a thing. I remember constantly being evicted, and never really having a home most of my childhood. We always had a roof over our head, but never really a home. That’s why to me, buying a house was always that thing, that finish line. As I sat there, the only thought crossing my mind was failure. It wasn’t because I thought I was a failure, it was because I didn’t feel successful.  If your not one, you have to be the other right?

Now in my infinite wisdom, Ive come to realize success cannot be measured, obtained or felt. Success in its self is as elusive as the horizon. I wish now Instead of spending my life in search of success, I would have spent it in search of happiness, and my only true failure in life was not knowing this. Maybe I will never find it, but at least I will have smiled once or twice along the way.

I’m happier now than ever before.. and I have nothing, today’s weight 670lbs…

- James